Monica notices a stock with her initials (MEG), and decides to try to make a living on the stock market rather than take a demeaning job at a 50's theme diner. She doesn't do so well. Phoebe decides it's time to meet her father, but accidentally runs over his dog. After getting it back from the vet, she delivers it home, only to find that Frank Buffay hasn't been there for four years. However, she discovers she has a half-brother, Frank Junior. Ross and Chandler get intimidated out of their seats, a hat, and the coffee shop, by a couple of bullies. As they're about to have a final showdown, someone steals from all of them, so Ross, Chandler, and the bullies band together to kick butt.
Rachel: Joey, the dog will lick himself, but he will not touch your sandwich. What does that tell you?
Rachel: What happened to, uh, MEG?
Monica: MEG was good for me, but I dumped her. Ya know, my motto is
"get out before they go down."
Joey: That is so not my motto.
Joey: Ross, have you ever been beaten up before?
Ross: Yeah, sure.
Joey: By someone besides Monica?
Phoebe: It was an accident and... and the woman who did this would
never ever hurt a dog on purpose. She's a vegetarian.
Mrs. Buffay: What are these, stitches?
Phoebe: Yeah, eight of them. That's fifty-six to him. You know, also,
if it's raining, you can't let him look up too long, 'cause that cone will
fill up really, really fast.
