Phoebe plans a special dinner out for her birthday, and all the gang plans to come. However, only she and Joey make it on time. Monica and Chandler are late because they fight over the fact that he's started smoking again; and because she's ovulating and wants to conceive. Rachel and Ross are late because they lock themselves out of their apartment while Emma's inside; and their babysitter (Mrs. Geller) is late. Ross uses a lot of antiquated phrases, and Monica has the breasts of a greek goddess (according to Phoebe). Joey struggles with hunger, but in the end gets to eat everyone's food.
Rachel: What if she jumped out of the basinet?
Ross: Can't hold her own head up, but yeah, jumped.
Rachel: Oh my God! I left the water running!
Ross: Rach, you did not leave the water running. Please, just pull yourself together, okay?
Rachel: Did I leave the stove on?
Ross: You haven't cooked since 1996!
Rachel: Is the window open? Because if the window's open, a bird could fly in there and...
Ross: Oh my God, you know what, I think you're right! I think, you know what, listen, listen... a pigeon... no, no, wait, an eagle flew in, landed on the stove, and caught fire! The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird's aid! The eagle, however, misconstrues this as an act of aggression, and grabs the baby in it's talon! Meanwhile, the faucet fills the apartment with water! Baby and bird, still ablaze, are locked in a death-grip, swirling around the whirlpool that fills the apartment!
Rachel: Boy, are you gonna be sorry if that's true.
Judy Geller: I understand, separation is hard. One time, I was about to leave Ross to go to the beauty parlor, and he
got so upset, he took off all his clothes, tucked his willie between his legs, and cried out, "Mommy, I'm a girl,
take me with you!"
Ross: Somehow, over time, it got easier to be apart from you.
Phoebe: And you were all so late, and you didn't even have the courtesy to call!
[Cell phone rings]
Phoebe: Well, it's too late now!
Ross: Phebes, I don't think that's us.
Joey: Dinner for six, for one! Well, you boys are about to see something really special.