The gang celebrates Monica's engagement night. Rachel, feeling lonely, kisses Ross (and considers doing more). Everyone thinks it's a big deal and Monica accuses Rachel of stealing her thunder. Phoebe asks if she can play at the wedding, and won't let up until she's convinced they'll really let her. Joey prepares to audition to play the part of a 19-year-old. Phoebe eats Joey's candy bar. Chandler is unable to perform in the bedroom.
Information from the extended DVD version of the episode appears in blue.
Chandler [to the foosball table]: Sure, you guys don't have this problem, you're made of wood.
Monica [seeing Ross and Rachel kissing in the hall]: I'm sorry, apparently I've opened the door to the past.
Chandler: Now Monica, I know you're upset, but don't forget: There is going to be a wedding,
you are going to throw the bouquet, and then there's going to be a honeymoon, maybe in Paris.
Chandler: We will take a moonlit walk on the Rue de la Blehblehblehbloo.
Phoebe: And if you wanna look 19, then you... you gotta do something about your eyes.
Joey: What? What's wrong with my eyes?
Phoebe: They give you away. There's just... there's too much wisdom in there. Just put some tea bags on them for like 15 minutes.
Joey: And that'll get rid of my wisdom?
Phoebe: Maybe just 10 minutes for you.
Phoebe [singing]:Whenever I get married, guess who won't get to sing?
Somebody named Geller and somebody else named Bing!
Monica: Maybe you can't stand the fact that your formerly fat friend is getting married before you!
Rachel: Oh wow. That... You know what? That is so unfair. You know what? Now I want to steal your thunder! Come on Ross, let's go have sex!
Monica: I can't believe you're gonna have sex on my engagement night!
Chandler: Well, somebody should.
Ross: Look, uh, if we're gonna do this...
Rachel: We're not gonna do this, all right? She's just gonna think that we're doing it.
Ross: Oh, I see, so everybody wins.
Phoebe [singing]:We thought Phoebe would leave, but she just stayed and stayed.
That's right, I'm here all night, and Chandler will never get laid.
Chandler: Hey! Here's a dollar, consider it a deposit. Please sing at our wedding!
Phoebe: Oh thank you.
Phoebe: Now... [singing again] Who will perform the ceremony?
Who will perform the ceremony?...